Abandoning for Good
by Just a fab redhead
Summary: Hawk Moth found out Marinettes identity, so in order to protect everyone she loved she had to make everyone think she died. She has Volpina make an illusion of her killing Marinette. Fast forward a few years later, Marinette has started a new life and is happy but will the past catch up to her? Disclaimer: I do not own the MLB series or any of its characters.
1. Chapter 1

I never wanted this. I never wanted to look into Chat's eyes and see so much hate, I could drown in it. But I couldn't escape this fate. Chat would have to hate me. If I wanted him to be safe, away from the reaches of Hawk Moth then I would have to make some sacrifices. I can't have any ties. No more Alya, Mama, Papa, Nino, Adrien, or Chat.

But as I looked into Chat's eyes I had to hold back a sob. The unshed tears in my eyes burned with so much intensity I wanted nothing more than to let them fall, but I couldn't cry. I had to stay strong. I had to get through this.

"Never talk to me again you sick disgusting excuse human." Chat Noir snarled between his bared teeth. His silver baton was pointed at me, as if he would stab me in the stomach if I got any closer. I took a step back and swallowed my tears. I wanted to turn around and flee, I wanted so badly to wipe the image of his disgusted face from my memory, but I couldn't do that. Not yet. I had one last thing to do before I left him. Before I left my life forever.

"I love you, Chat. No matter what you think of me or what you say, I will always love you." I whispered as I let the tears in my eyes finally fall. "I love you." I choked out as I cried. His expression didn't soften in anyway. It stayed as venomous as it had before.

With that last comment I jumped, off the rooftops and swung into the night sky of Paris. My yo-yo grappled onto the top of the Eiffel Tower and I landed, crouching at the top.

The sobs came out choked up, and the salty tears rolled down my cheeks like rain drops on a car's window. I looked down at the ladybug yo-yo in my hand and for the first time in my life, I was disgusted by it. Normally I would think I was so lucky to be given this power to help people but right now all I could think about was how much pain it caused me. It forced me to leave my family, my friends, and Chat. Chat. The dorky cat who was full of cringe worthy puns. Who always flirted with me and kissed my hand. My Chat. Who let me lay my head on his shoulder when I was sad. The Chat, that even though he loved me he would listen to me complain about my crush. Chat. The one I didn't see because of Adrien.

My thoughts were interrupted by a soft shuffle behind me. I stood up and turned around, my eyes meeting Volpina's.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly, reaching out her hand to brush the tear that was rolling down my cheek. I reached up and wiped my eyes, not wanting her to see me cry.

"No." I whispered as I lifted my head up higher. "But it had to be done." I said, as if trying to convince myself of the words I spoke. "Thanks. For making the illusion that I killed Marriente." I said, my voice cracking. Volpina looked at me with so much sympathy I felt like I was going to drown in it. She nodded softly and put her hand on my shoulder, a comforting gesture but it didn't help. I was still empty of any joy or happiness. Completely filled with pain and enough sadness for the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

 **I'm really sorry that the first chapter was extremely short. I've had the piece for a while and I decided recently that I would post it, so all I did was reread the piece and fix any errors. I can promise you that this chapter will be a lot longer than the last one.**

 **cookiebook322** **: Im definitely going to include some backstory, most likely in the form of flashbacks.**

 **I might bring in a different love interest for Marinette, so if/when I do that, I would like to hear what you feel about him. Or her, I haven't really decided anything for the characters.**

 **Without further ado, here is the second chapter for "Abandoning for Good".**

"And I win. Again." Marinette giggles, as she leaned against the pool table, staring at the girl. Marinette's hair was down, since she had grown out of her pigtails, and she was wearing one of her favorite summer dresses that she had designed. **(A/N: And no, I will not describe the dress because she won't be wearing it for much longer. She'll change into something else.)**

"Okay, technically you didn't win." The girl proclaimed, trying to regain her honor from losing so badly, " _I_ was the one who knocked the 8 ball in so...I lost. You didn't finish first so it doesn't really count." Marinette rolled her eyes at this and shook her head.

"You're just upset that I won." Marinette said smoothly, "without even trying" she added, wanting to get a reaction out of her friend. Yes, this girl was her friend. Actually, she was her best friend. This girl, Sophia, was the person she trusted most in this world. Yeah, she trusted Chat, but she couldn't even give him her real identity. She hadn't told anyone who she really was. But there was one person who was an exception. And that person, yes you called it, was Sophia.

"Fine. How about we settle this." Sophia said, pushing off from her leaning position on the wall closest to Marinette. "The person to win the next game is the champion." Marinette also pushed herself off her position on the pool table, and faced Sophia.

"As much fun as that sounds," And it did sound like fun, "We have to get ready." Marinette finished as she started to make her way to the staircase leading up from the basement.

"Get ready for what?" Of course she would forget, it's not like they had been planning this for 3 months now. But this was Sophia, and she was _always_ the exception. Marinette twisted her body around, so that she was facing the oblivious Sophia.

"The party." Marinette said examining Sophia's face in order to see if that triggered anything. "Y'know...the one where _Adam_ will be at." Sophia's face lit up at the word 'Adam', and Marinette was not sure if it was because she had remembered or if it was because she had a huge crush on him. Sophia raced passed Marinette, and trampled up the stairs, making as much noise as possible.

"Don't you dare turn the lights off! I am still down here!" Marinette shouted up the stairs, craning her head up in order to see Sophia at the top. Sophia, slowly twisted her head around and gave Marinette a cheshire grin. _Oh crap._ Was all Marinette thought as Sophia flicked the switch, and closed the door behind her.

She was now in the pitch black, most ominous basement in the whole state of New York. Marinette had fought bloodthirsty akumatized people in the middle of the night in Paris, but she was no match for the scary ass of a place she called her basement. She would only ever go down there if Sophia was with her, and if she had her pocket knife on her. Yes, a pocket knife, she was a dangerous girl now. Actually she was not, she was still a little marshmallow.

Marinette darted up the staircase, and swung the door open, panting from the fear of being eaten by the monsters that were surely in her basement.

"SOPHIA! I SWEAR WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU'RE A DEAD WOMAN!" Marinette shouted as she stalked into the living room, to see a very amused Sophia sitting in a gold armchair. Her blond hair, was laying gently on both of her shoulders. Her amber eyes gleaming up at Marinette with their normal mischievous gleam.

"Ooh, I'm so scared." Sophia said jokingly as she stood up and matched Marinette's stance, her hands on her hips.

"May, I remind you I'm _ladybug_." Marinette said glaring up at Sophia who was a good 4 inches taller than her. Sophia grinned down at Marinette, finding her to be so adorable in that moment.

"Oh, yes you are. And you're a really good one might I add." Sophia said as she passed by Marinette, who was obviously not done talking. "You really show those bad guys who's boss." Marinette gawked at Sophia who had made her way across the living room.

"Do you know how dangerous fighting armed robbers is?!" Marinette shrieked, upset that Sophia would mock fighting armed and dangerous criminals.

"I believe you have completely forgotten that we have to get ready for a certain party, that you made fun of me for forgetting." Sophia said, popping her head out of the side of the doorframe for comical effect. "I'm think of wearing that tiny blue dress of mine." She said, raising an eyebrow suggestively." Marinette rolled her eyes and made her way across the living room toward the doorway.

"Okay, first of all, I made that for you. And secondly, that was meant to be a shirt for you." Marinette lectured as she grew closer to Sophia. "It was a clothing item that you were supposed to wear pants with." Sophia rolled her eyes, probably going to forget about this whole conversation and still wear the "dress".

"You're no fun." Sophia said pouting, as she slipped into her room. Marinette sighed and opened her room's door, which was directly across from Sophia's.

"Well, time to get ready."

 **A/N: This chapter wasn't that long and I can promise you there will be longer ones in the near future, but i just didn't know how to continue. It felt good to leave the chapter there. This chapter wasn't that important. It was mostly just to introduce you to amber and where the next setting will be. In the next chapter there will be a certain blond headed model and some backstory. Please review because they give me the motivation to write more chapters. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

 **I know that a lot of people haven't reviewed or favorited my story but every single favorite and review makes my day. You don't know how happy i am that even just a handful of people read something I wrote. Thank you so much! XD**

 **As promised, Adrien will make a special appearance in this chapter. And you will meet Adam. Who is he to Marinette? Well, you'll find out. Have fun reading! I hope you do! And you are always welcome to write in any recomendations for what you think should happen next. Love y'all!**

Marinette examined her finished product in the floor length mirror attached to her closets door. She sucked in a breath and tried not to squeal in happiness. She had to admit, she had outdid herself this time. She was wearing a black and red, thick cotton, dress that hugged her chest and flowed out at the bottom. She had short black cap sleeves and the very top of her dress was black and stopped right over her breast. The rest of her dress was a beautiful dark crimson that faded into a nearly black shade of red.

Her hair was a few inches past her shoulder and it was curled into light beach waves. The only thing that was the same about her from 5 years ago, was the purse that housed the sweet tooth kwami, Tikki. No matter where she went she was still Ladybug, she would always be Ladybug. Even if "Marinette" disappeared, she would always be the same person. Have the same morals that she had 5 years ago.

She had tried not to think of what happened, she was about to go to a party wearing a gorgeous dress that she made. She looked beautiful. She was beautiful. Marinette sucked in the tears that threatened to ruin her smoky eye look and grabbed some red flats. She was _not_ a heel girl. She didn't think she would ever be a heel girl.

She opened her rooms door and stepped out into the main hall in her luxurious apartment. There was no light on in Sophia's room so she must've finished changing already. This was to be expected since Sophia had learned to change quickly since she was always late to something.

Marinette made her way to the kitchen, planning to sneak a cookie into her purse for Tikki. Hey, you never know when crime will strike.

"We ran out of cookies a while ago, if that's what you're looking for. We'll have to stop on our way home to get some." Sophia said from a seat at the kitchen counter. At the moment she was on her phone, probably playing piano tiles. Marinette let out a sigh, and grabbed a chocolate granola bar. Tikki would have to settle for this until they got the cookies for her.

"How did you know I was going to get cookies?" Marinette questioned, suddenly realizing what had happened.

"I can read minds, remember?" Sophia said with a straight face, not even blinking. She was never going to get a straight answer out of her was she?

"Well, I guess we should go now." Marinette said checking her small purse, double checking that she had her phone and Tikki with her. "The party starts in 20 mins, and I would like to get there before the street fills up with drunkards." Sophia shut her phone off and put it in her dark blue purse. The purse went perfectly with her blue "dress", the one they had been arguing over before. It was made of a thin silk, and flowed over Sophia's curves. Sophia also had on gold Greek Goddess sandals. Marinette was itching to style a dress for the shoes, but Sophia insisted that she would be asking for too much to have another hand made dress from Marinette.

"I actually rather like it when the drunkards are there." Sophia said thoughtfully, "It makes the place seem so…what's the word? Homey." Marinette giggled as she opened the front door that led out of there apartment.

"Yeah, well I'd rather not smell throw up."

 **. . .**

"Welcome, to our humble home. Please retain yourself from throwing up on the nice furniture." The host, Adam, said, not bothering to look up, because if he had he wouldn't have added the part about throwing up.

"Um, Adam, it's us." Marinette said, waving her hand in front of Adam's face, trying to get his attention. "Not a bunch of drunkeys." Adam looked up from his phone, going wide eyed once he realized what he just said to them.

"Oh sorry, sorry, I just thought that...well, um, come in. Make yourself at home." He stuttered out, reminding Marinette of what she used to be like around Adrien. Adam must really like Sophia. Marinette glanced over at Sophia to see how she was holding up, but was to distracted at the fact that Sophia's whole face was a bright pink, to decipher her facial expression. God, those two were so helpless. Guess she would have to step in and play matchmaker.

"Um, I'm going to go get something to drink." Marinette said turning to face Sophia, who was still in a coma from being face to face with Adam. "I'm sure _Adam_ would love to show you around." she added smoothly, slipping past the love birds towards the alcohol. She wasn't going to drink any of course, since she needed to be ready in case anything happens, but the _refreshment_ table was the only place without the smell of throw up.

But Marinette's attention on the table was obstructed once she felt a pair of eyes drilling wholes in the back of her head. She was used to men checking her out but this felt different.

She slowly turned around, searching the crowd of people in order to find the person who was staring at her. Almost immediately her eyes locked onto a pair of striking green eyes. And with those green eyes was a pile of neatly arranged blond hair.

 _Adrien._ Was all she could think as her eyes grew, and her mouth slightly opened, giving her a deer in headlights look. She was in deep shit.

 **P.O.V Adrien:**

 _There is no way… that could be Marinette._

Soon after Ladybug left, Adrien/Chat Noir had defeated Hawkmoth. He had no other choice other than to figure out who Hawkmoth was, since he didn't have the power to purify akuma's. It wasn't a huge shocker to him that his dad was Hawkmoth. Because, come on, it was his dad. The person who showed no affection towards his own kid. A person who used his loyal son to rake in more cash with modeling. The person who used Adrien like he was his property. But now that _man_ sat behind bars for 50+ years. And Adrien had no intention of visiting his so called _dad._

He had left his home of Paris, to follow Ladybug. He had heard of a black spotted hero who was whisking around New York City, defeating criminals and saving people from burning buildings. He had to confront her, as Adrien, not Chat Noir. He had to make this personal. He had to tell her how much he hated her and how all who would like to see is her behind locked bars like his dad.

But now there was a girl. A girl who looked eerily like Marinette. Like the person he had loved. And she was looking right back at him. Her azure eyes wide with shock and fear.

He would recognize those eyes anywhere.

He had found the girl who had died. He had found the girl who had helped him heal his broken heart after Ladybug rejected him. He had found Marinette.

 **A/N: Sorry that I didn't write more but I kind of just wanted to get this chapter out there. Adrien will not be confronting Marinette next chapter but our favorite heroine will make an appearance. Did any of you realize how** _ **strange**_ **Sophia is. Is she up to something? Well, find out later, if you decide to keep reading.**


	4. Sorry!

**Hey guys, this isn't a new chapter it's just a little notice for all the readers. I didn't have the internet for the past 3 days so I couldn't update at all. I couldn't write either. I am working on chapter 4 right now so there will most likely be a new chapter by the end of the day. Thank you so much for your patience. Update soon! Love ya'll!**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yes, yes, you can yell at me all you want. I told you I would post on thursday and I never did. I have no excuse other than my laziness. But I had a right to be lazy. I had an extra credit assignment due on friday so I was doing that. And I had to start that at 6 because there were people in my house and I had to stay downstairs. I'm extremely sorry. I'll be updating every single day. That's a promise. I had been doing that until the internet stopped working. Also, thank you so much for the views, reviews, favorites, and follows! Love ya'll!**

 _No, no, no, no, no!_ Was all Marinette could think as she walked down the grimy street towards her apartment building. _This can NOT be happening!_ She had tried so hard to keep a low profile. She had changed her name and kept her face out of the newspapers. And now all of that was for nothing! Her luck was as bad as Chat Noir's. That damned unlucky cat.

No. This wasn't his fault. This was hers. All hers. She was the one to blame. Why the hell did she think she could lead a normal life as "Mary Lin"? She shouldn't even have gone to that party. That damned party. But why in gods name was Adrien there? He had taken over her life in Paris and now he was going to jeopardize her new life in NYC. Well, this is what she got for running. For leaving her friends and family. Her past was bound to catch up with her she just wished it hadn't been so soon. Her life had just gone back to normal and now this happened.

She turned the corner, a street lamp seeping its milky light onto an empty street. The light from the lamp made it easy to see the mist swirling around, adding the final touch to the eery landscape.

She could see her apartment from her spot on the abandoned sidewalk and estimated how many blocks were left before she would be in the warm comfort of her room. Away from the her worries and away from Adrien. Away from her past.

Her head throbbed even though she hadn't drank anything. But she still felt like crap. She had walked 15 more blocks before she had reached her building. It was 30 stories high and glittered with the lights that were on in the apartments. The front door was adorned in christmas lights, the little bulbs twinkling like fairies. The potted pine trees on each side of the door were embellished with crystal snowflakes that reflected the little light, the fractures of light bouncing of the metal that framed the door. Why hadn't she noticed any of this before. Oh right, she had been in her own little world for the past 5 years.

She had made her way to her room quickly, away from the peering eyes that examined her red swollen eyes. She didn't want to, neither had the time to explain herself. She had to leave. Her case was blown. She had to get out of here. If she left soon enough then Adrien would think he was just hallucinating.

But as she stuffed her cloths into her pink suitcase, she couldn't hold back the tears. She sat down on her soft bed, and then let everything go.

Her heart pounded so hard against her chest it was painful. She sobbed into her hands, curling her body up into a ball. She had to force herself to breathe in between sobs. She could feel her heart breaking. Her world collapsing. Black ivory hair covered her face like a curtain, trying to protect her from the outside world. She couldn't move. Her chest felt like her heart had been wrenched out of it. God, the pain was too much. This was all too much. She stood up slowly, forcing herself to swallow her sobs. There would be time for tears on the plane, but right now she had to pack. Had to escape the complications of Adrien and her old life. Her past.

She grabbed her suitcase and opened her door, and started to walk towards the apartment door. Her suitcase a dead weight behind her, like it didn't want her to leave.

 **P.O.V Tikki:** Tikki followed close, not saying a word, knowing this was the right choice and that if she said something Marinette would probably break down. But where was Sophia? She was supposed to be here. To stop Marinette. It might be the right choice but it wasn't a good one. It wasn't the one that would make Marinette happy. The miraculous holders happiness had to come first. If the miraculous holder wasn't happy they wouldn't be able to do there job. Tikki knew this from past experience. Bad things happened. Terrible things. Things that made Tikki lose her owner. Her holder. Her friend. Tikki couldn't go through that heartbreak again. But she knew Marinette wouldn't listen.

Sophia was the one who was supposed to be at her side. She was assigned to Marinette, and she chose to stay at a party instead of following Marinette. Headquarters would be pissed. At Sophia, at her. Marinette could lose Sophia. Marinette would lose Sophia no matter what if she decided to leave. But if Marinette stayed, then when she figured out who Sophia is, she would never forgive her. And this was all happening because of what? Correction, who. Adrien. He just had to come _here!_ This was all too much. Tikki couldn't come up with a solution when all her thoughts were ramming into the walls of her fairy head.

Fine. Tikki would wait. She would wait a pray that Sophia had realized Marinette left the party. So begrudgingly, Tikki followed Marinette, her head bowed in shame for not being able to do anything. For not being able to help Marinette when she need her most.

 **A/N: I haven't written very emotional stuff in a while so this chapter was a little rough around the edges. I'm also so used to telling the readers and not showing because I'm always thinking: "This a fanfiction, not a book." But I'm getting that out of my head because fanfictions are just alternate universes of the book. Okay, well you didn't need to know that...Hope you like this chapter. And please write a review saying who you think Sophia is. Also, please say whether you want another love interest because that's where I'm leaning. Also, do you want marinette to leave again or no. So, P-L-E-A-S-E review! Thank you. Love ya'll! Oh**

 **ONE LAST THING: I am going to post some of my stories so please check them out.**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N I know I said I would be updating everyday it's just I didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether I wanted Marinette to stay or leave. But I made a decision halfway through. So…have fun! (I wrote out a whole rant about constructive criticism and I deleted it. 20 minutes of my life I'm not getting back) Okay, I'll keep this short. If you have a problem with my plot or my characters or anything else, just leave the story. I am open to constructive criticism but there's a line so don't cross it. Thank you. Enjoy the chapter.**

"Hi, have you seen Mary?" A blond girl asked Adrien as she continued surveying the room for the lost girl. She brought her eyes to Adrien's and realized he had no idea who "Mary" was. "Um, black hair that goes to about here," She said and put her hand a few inches underneath her shoulder, "And she was wearing a red and black dress." She finished looking at Adrien with a pleading look, hoping he knew the girl she was talking about. And he did. She was talking about Marinette, or "Mari". That was clever to change her name to "Mary". Well, what did he expect.

"Oh, yeah, I think she went out that door." Adrien said pointing to a random door that was the farthest from the door Mary went through. But the girl made no move to go towards the door he pointed out. Instead she stood where she was, her fists in balls by her side. Her earlier nervous smile was replaced with a cold stone look, her amber eyes filled with icy rage.

"Why are you lying?" She seethed between barred teeth, her eyes lighting up with a deeper rage. God, he was going to die, wasn't he. She reached down and grabbed his shirt's collar, bunching up in her fists. She lifted him up to her eye level. "You will tell me where she really went, or so help me god, you will leave here with a black eye." She growled and pushed him back roughly. He stumbled back a few feet before steadying himself. This girl was insane. Yeah he lied, but why would Marinette be so important. She's just a normal girl.

He pointed to the door she actually exited from, with a shaky finger. Unfortunately he was still a model so he couldn't get a black eye, otherwise he wouldn't have told this psycho anything.

She shoved past him, and pushed the door open with so much force it was knocked off it's hinges, and slammed on the ground behind her. But she didn't even blink or hesitate. She just kept walking with that same icy rage that was in her eyes before.

 **P.O.V Marinette:** Marinette walked out onto the street, her building's door closing softly behind her. She gazed out onto the bustling street with her red eyes and watched sadly at all of the people she would never meet or get to know. She walked out onto the sidewalk, ignoring the puddles that rippled from every step she took. She was done. She was so done. Her heart was empty and her eyes dry from crying everything out a while ago. She lifted a hand out into the street. The cars ignored her like she was just a part of the scenery. Just another obstacle to maneuver past and ignore, their headlights shining on the pelting rain. Her drenched hair stuck to her face, making her look like a wet rat on the side of the street. Maybe that was all she was. Maybe the universe was trying to send her a message. Trying to tell her that she's not a superhero. If she was they wouldn't of done all of this. Put all of these obstacles in her path. That's not what the universe does. At least, from experience. She was only 20. And so much. So much pain has battered her and destroyed her inside and out. And now. Now she had to leave again. Leave this city. Maybe even this country. She had already lived two lives. Two heart breaking lives. Two lives that only ended in immense pain. What had she done to deserve what the universe, what god was pounding down on her. She didn't do a thing. She had a family. She had friends. She had a boy. A boy who stood next to her through everything. And now? Now she had nothing. Only the pain from wrongs done to her. She stared at the taxi that had pulled up to the curb. Waiting. Waiting for her to get in and drive. She took a step closer, letting her feet slap against the wet cement. This was it. The last time she would ever be here. The last time she would look at the skyscrapers next to her. She took another step. Alya flashed across her eyes. Then Nino. Then Papa. Then Mama. Then Adrien. Then Sophia. And then. Then Chat. Chat. Chat, who hated her with an endless abyss. Who would gladly see her behind bars or even. Even under a grave. But what name would be on that grave. Marinette? Ladybug? Mary? What name? Who was she now? A nameless ghost wandering the world, looking for somewhere to stay. Where her past wouldn't destroy her walls. She didn't exist. She was a nameless. A nameless girl. A nameless woman. A nameless holder. No one needed Ladybug anymore. No one need Marinette. No one needed Mary. No one need the nameless girl. The nameless woman. The nameless grave. No one needed that person, that ghost. That...thing. They had their lives. Their busy lives full of eccentric colors and feelings. They had people who depended on them. They had friends and family. They had names. They had graves with names. With people mourning them. But what did she have. She didn't even have a name.

What did she need now? A new life? A new name? Maybe a new end?

She was nameless, unwanted, and not needed. So what if she ended early. This long long run of hers. What if she just closed her eyes for a bit. Forever. Was that what she wanted? Well, what she wanted she couldn't have. So maybe ending the run was the right decision. Maybe ending her pain and her emptiness.

She felt Tikki press her little head against her cheek. Trying to give the tiniest bit of comfort. The tiniest bit of anything since she had nothing. Marinette didn't bother nuzzling her back. She had made her decision. A decision that would end this life. This run she had going for her. This was it. This was the end. She didn't bother saying goodbye. Just slipped into the taxi, and let it drive. To her end. To the destination where she would get out of and jump.

 **A/N Uh oh. That's all I'm going to say. So, this could be the end of the story. Hmm, only 5 chapters. Maybe there's more! Maybe this is the end. XD Sorry but I'm not going to tell you.**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N Someone mentioned in the comments that they would rather have a longer chapter even if it meant waiting longer. So I will do exactly that. A 2k chapter is heading your way. Have fun!**

P.O.V Adrien stood outside Adam's building, standing underneath his black umbrella looking off into the city, melancholy filling his heart and his soul. He had come to New York City because of Ladybug sightings but now, with Marinette being here? He had no idea what to make of it. Maybe Marinette followed Ladybug, trying to get revenge on the spotted heroine's actions. But that wasn't something she would do. She was good and honest through and through. He looked back on all the times she stood up to Chloe, standing in front of the Mayor's daughter and throwing back sassy remarks, not caring what the consequences would be. Because she was a hero. Maybe not exactly like Ladybug, but she was their classes little heroic classmate. Always making sure people were safe from Akuma's before running off and disappearing. Thinking back to it, where did she run off too? Safety? No, she would've gone with her classmates if she wanted to be in the safest spot. The bathroom? He thought she could hold it in until they weren't under attack.

Well, right now was not the time to be thinking about bodily functions. He didn't think there would ever be the time where he would _want_ to think about bodily functions. So, he just waited outside the building, waiting in case she came back. The torrent of rain pounded against his umbrella, shielding him from the unforgiving touch of the rain. The skyscrapers glittered through the rain, standing firm and tall, breaking any rain or wind that came their way. Offering shelter to people trying to hide from the rain. He should've been that way for Marinette. He should've protected her from Ladybug. It was his fault she had died. But she hadn't had she. She was there tonight. At the party wearing a gorgeous dress, looking even more beautiful than the models he worked with. He couldn't stop staring at her, and when she ran away it felt like a piece of him left with her. Not just a piece, but his whole heart.

He took a step closer to the sidewalk, peering down both ends of the street for her. For his Mari. But not a single bluenette was in sight. He sighed to himself and look down at the ground as he stepped out onto the sidewalk, his heart crushed with every step away from the party he had seen her at.

But his path was soon blocked by a young woman. He lifted his head up slightly in order to peer at the stranger's face. His eyes met hers and he had to stop himself from gasping. In front of him stood Marinette in all her glory. Her black hair stuck to the sides of her face from the rain, and her eyes were puffy and swollen. Her eyes had become even more beautiful since when she was 15 back in Paris. Her lips were like small plump rose buds.

Other people would look like a half drowned vermin on the street from the sheets of unweilding rain but she was even more beautiful. Even though it was evident in the condition of her eyes that she had been crying. And now she was standing in front of him. Looking up at him like a lost puppy, her large azul blue eyes staring at him like she wasn't sure if he would yell at her or hug her. He didn't know either. He just stood there, his face covered in shock, love, and hurt. God, all he wanted to do was grab her and pull her close, never letting go no matter what. But he knew he couldn't do. Well, not just yet.

So, he reached out his hand, the one holding the black umbrella, towards Marinette and let her decide what to do.

P.O.V Marinette: She was now standing in front of Adrien, staring at the umbrella he was now putting in front of her, letting her decide whether to accept or deny the offer. She remembered. The first time they had been friends. The moment her crush on him had developed was that day in the rain. That day when the rain wouldn't give in and she had forgotten her umbrella. He had explained to her what had really happened with the gum on the seat. And after that he gave her his umbrella, and when their hands had touched it was unforgettable. She could still feel the little sparks racing through her blood, warming her whole body which was hard to do since she was soaking wet.

But that time she hadn't been scared. He was just a nice cute boy who had given her his umbrella. But this time everything was different. She was scared, that she would get hurt, that she would go through the heartbreak all over again. She had been hurt far too much. But then why had she decided to come here. When she was outside her building she had decided to jump into this. Decided to give it a shot. To end the run from her past life. So why couldn't she just reach out her hand and grab that umbrella. Why couldn't she just let herself be happy for once. When had she let her fear of Hawkmoth control her life? She was a hero which meant she had to stand up to the bad guys and never give up. But she had. She had left, leaving Chat Noir to deal with a villain he couldn't possibly defeat on his own. God, she had been so selfish. Why had she ever thought that her family and friends would be safer without her. She was a superhero! She could've kept them safe. Sheltered them from the evil hand of Hawkmoth. But she hadn't and it's not like she could just go back in time and change that. But right now.. Right in front of her was a second chance. A chance to do the right thing. And it was being offered by the boy she had been in love with for years.

So, Marinette reached her hand out and grasped onto the umbrella. She clung to it with dear life, feeling as if she let go she would fall down that pit of despair she had been trapped in until recently. She risked a glance up at Adrien, almost melting from the gentle smile he gave her, his eyes twinkling with a mix of relief and something else she couldn't identify. But unlike her 13 year old self, she didn't stutter out a response. Instead she took a step closer and laid her hand on his chest. His shirt was dry and soft and felt like...home. She took another step, closing the rest of the space between them and heard Adrien's sharp intake of breath. His soft green eyes were wide and a light blush coated his cheeks. His lips were open ever so slightly in a way that drove her mad. All she wanted to do was grab his face and clash their lips together. But Marinette was patient. She wouldn't rush her first kiss.

With that last thought Marinette stood up on her tiptoes, snaked her arms around his neck, and leaned in.

P.O.V Adrien: Adrien could feel her impossibly soft lips meet his, molding against his perfectly as if they were made to fit each other. And in that moment Adrien hoped so because he didn't want this to end, didn't want her warm body to be anywhere else other than pressed against his. He didn't want her sweet lips to leave his and he didn't want her arms to unravel from their place around his neck. Adrien wrapped his firm arms around her waist, he could feel her melt into his embrace. He licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance and she willingly gave it to him. They battled for dominance and in the end he won. He explored every crevice of her mouth with his tongue, tasting sweet cakes and croissants in her mouth. He was a goner.

Unfortunately, Marinette pulled back, her lips damp and swollen from the kissing. Her large blue eyes stared up at him in wonder. In that exact moment he made a promise to always protect her. To make sure not a single glorious strand of hair on her head was hurt. He reached out a tentative hand and pushed back a piece of her hair that had fallen in front of her face. He just had to touch her. To feel her. To taste her. His hands hadn't moved from their spot around her hips and he was pretty sure they were a permanent attachment to her now. As he tuck her hair behind her ear he began to examine her face. He hadn't really had time before to do so with her running away and everything. And then with the kissing. The gods damned heavenly kissing. But now he could see her. Her roundish face had grown into more of a mature jaw line. Even though her face had grown into a more structured piece of art, she still had that soft look. Her eyelashes darker and longer framing those large blue eyes that seemed have become even brighter than when she was younger. Her dark hair had grown out past her shoulder and were in small waves since her hair had probably reverted back to its original state because of the rain. Her lips were plumper and fuller and were as soft as a pillow. Adrien could officially confirm this since he had kissed her. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he had lived in Paris which is saying something.

"I love you." He blurted out, his voice cracking from want. He looked down at her, searching her face frantically for the slightest hint about what she felt towards him. But her expression remained the same, unyielding.

"I love you too." She replied softly gazing at him with so much love and adoration that Adrien could feel his heart soar. This was heaven he told himself. And she was an angel. An angel he was never letting go. The rain had become a soft muted melody in the background, making him feel like the rest of the world didn't exist. Like it was just the two of them and no one else. He closed the gap between their lips and kissed her. Letting himself give in to the sensations and the warmth of her mouth. Give in to the softness of her lips and the taste of her. She was his and he was hers. That's how it was meant to be. And that's how it would always be. Because nothing mattered anymore. Because he had found her. He had found the dead girl. The lost girl. He had found Marinette. Mari. And he was never letting her go.

 **A/N: I'm sorry it took a while for me to update. You didn't actually think I would stop there did you? I'm not a monster, have some faith in me. Well, I'm not sure if I should continue or not. I was planning on this being a long fanfiction but now I'm not sure. But Adrien doesn't even know that she's ladybug. Tell me if you want me to continue this or not. Anyways, love y'all! Oh and I will definitely be writing for MLB fanfics so don't fret. Bye, for now. ;)**


	8. Chapter 7

**I'M BACK! Did you miss me? Well, whatever. This is a 2k chapter. Not that much but better than my other 1k chapters. Hope you like it.**

P.O.V Marinette was pinching herself while she stared up at Adrien. This has to be a dream, right? He can't actually be holding her in the rain after kissing. And….WAKE UP! She shouted in her head, bracing herself for this world to melt away and for her to wake up to her reality. But nothing happened. Adrien was still staring at her and she was still dazed from their kiss. The kiss. One word. Magical. She could feel all her troubles lift when he kissed her, and could still feel the warmth of his neck on her hands. She was a goner. From the moment she saw him waiting for her in the rain she knew that was it. Any walls she had built came tumbling down when she saw the despair in his eyes. She had never meant to hurt him but she had.

"I don't deserve you." Was all that slipped out of her mouth as she stared guiltily at him. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I left, Adrien. I left _everyone_." His face cleared of his confusion and he smiled softly at her.

"You could've run away again. But you didn't. Because I'm holding you right now." He said brushing her cheek with his thumb. "That has to count for something." She smiled back and leaned her head farther against his hand like a cat. Like Chat.

God, she was betraying Chat. After all she had done to him, now she chose Adrien. She shoved the thought to the back of her mind. She held onto the hand on her cheek, clinging to the warmth.

"We have to talk though." He murmured the warmth in his eyes dulled. "You're dead. Well, at least you're supposed to be." Marinette gave an understanding nod, and looked down at her feet. How was she going to explain everything that had happened without telling him her identity. She couldn't lie to him _again._ It just wasn't right. So she would tell him. Wasn't that the right thing to do? She was brought out of her thoughts as Adrien slipped his phone into her empty hand. She looked down at the object in confusion and then looked back at him. He grinned at her, leaning down and whispering in her ear, "So I can keep you up all night on the phone." Her eyes widened and she blushed. He sounded exactly like Chat which eased her thoughts. At least she loved someone who was like Chat.

She typed in her contact information, contemplating whether to add a heart next to her name, but decided against it. They still hadn't talked about what _this_ was.

Adrien took back his phone and handed hers back. He smiled and leaned down a little as if to kiss her. But if he was he had decided against it because he just placed his hand on her shoulder the way he had in grade school. She smiled back at him, reveling in the warmth he gave her. He was her home when she was 3,625 miles away from Paris.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" She said clearly not wanting to seem flustered. He nodded in response and stepped past her, making his way down the street in the opposite direction of her apartment. So, they didn't live in the same area but they probably weren't that far away since he had opted to walk. She scolded herself for thinking such stalkerish thoughts. She was not going to go back in her habits of figuring out everything about. At least not yet. Not when all of this was still a very sensitive place for her.

So, she walked back to her building, her mind quiet and at peace for the first time in 5 years.

 **. . .**

P.O.V Adrien:

Adrien flopped down on his bed, staring at the ceiling dreamily.

"I kissed her Plagg. I kissed Marinette." He said, still staring at the ceiling intently. He could hear Plagg snorting in the trashcan. Probably eat that stinky Camembert cheese. What Adrien would do for a Kwami that didn't eat that fucking cheese. His mind wondered to Ladybug as he thought about what her Kwami ate. She had always smelled like sugar and cinnamon so maybe it ate baked goods. Thinking about it, Ladybug smelled exactly like Marinette did. Maybe it's because Marinette's so sweet that her personality is seeping into her scent. OKAY, stop, because now you're thinking extremely creepy and stalkerish thoughts.

Adrien pulled out his phone, his stomach doing flips as he stared at her contact. He couldn't wait till tomorrow morning to text her and technically it was the next day. He tapped her contact and pondered what to send to her. What if he woke her up with the text? And then she hated him and never spoke to him again. That wouldn't happen, right? Well, maybe that's something the new Marinette would do. Oh god was this all a mistake. _No! You will send a text! This is Marinette she could never hate someone over something so petty like a text message._

He mentally slapped himself if that was possible and typed out a text message, sending it quickly, so he wouldn't overthink it and criticize every part of the message. He turned his phone off and even his breaths. He could have a panic attack about the massage in the morning but right now all he wanted to do was get some rest. So, he laid his head down of the soft milky pillow of his hotel and closed his eyes, and dreamt about blue.

P.O.V Marinette

Marinette was currently rolling around with her phone in her hand squealing like a teenager. She glanced back down at her phone and read the text Adrien sent her for the millionth time. She had read it over and over again, not really sure if it was real or if this was all just a dream that she would wake up from.

Adrien3: I was wondering if you would like to get a coffee sometimes. It doesn't have to be a coffee. It could be anything, I just want to catch up and figure out this whole "I thought to be dead but now I'm back." Not that I only want to see you to solve this. I like you. I would get a coffee with you anytime...

Adrien3: Third Rail Coffee 11:30. If you want to go.

She totally ignored the context of the situation and the fact that he wanted to figure this out. She only saw it through her love hooded eyes. She may be 20 years old but she had totally not grown out of her "squealing and rolling on bed" phase. No, _that_ phase was permanent, unfortunately.

She checked the time on her phone and nearly fell of the bed when she realized how late it was. She had somehow slept till 10:00 and only had an hour of so to actually make herself look presentable and not a hot mess.

She pulled her long raven hair out of it's bun let it rest on her shoulders. She softly padded towards her bathroom and stared the mirror. Her hair was knotted and twisted and seemed to poof out like a ball. Yeah, this was going to hurt. She grabbed her pink brush with intricate flowers painted on, and tugged it through her hair over and over what seemed eternity and a lot of arm switching she had calmed her hair down into it's normal state, straight with a slight wave at the bottom. Pleased with herself she exited the bathroom and picked out a light blue sleeveless dress. It stopped at her knees and flowed out. She decided to keep her hair down and let it sit on her shoulders.

She was surprisingly calm since she was going to be meeting Adrien soon and talking. WHich brought her back to another problem that needed to be dealt with quickly. Would she tell him she's Ladybug? She would have to explain everything to him and none of it would make sense if he didn't know she was Ladybug. She didn't want to lie again because look where that got her. Away from home and away from her life. She covered her face with her hands willing herself to not cry. She had spent the last 5 years dealing with this grief and now she could finally put an end to it. If anything she should be crying in happiness, for finally being able to get her life back. She force herself to tear her hands from her face and gave one last glance in the mirror.

"You can do this." She whispered to her reflection and gave a determined face, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes narrow. Her lips were set in a firm straight line. "You can do this."

P.O.V Adrien

Adrien had reserved a table at the cafe just in case the lunch rush would prevent them from having to find another place. The manager had owed him a favor so he had reserved a small seat in the back near the large window. It was on the corner of a street, making two of the four walls have large windows.

The light streamed in, golden beams that painted the table and chairs in it's golden hue. He pulled out my chair and sat down, his hands fidgeting underneath the table. He pulled out his phone, for what seemed the like the hundredth and checked his messages. She hadn't responded or gave him any indication that she would come. But he had come anyway, clinging to a strip of fools hope.

11:27. Still 3 minutes. And even if it was 11:30 he would stay for hours in case she came. He would wait. Time ticked by, seconds turned into minutes, and his nervousness turned into dejection. She wasn't going to come, was she? He should've known better than to get his hopes up. He glanced one more time at his phone, 11:55.

He stood up warily and grabbed the jacket that rested on on his chair. He didn't bother putting it on though, he was to tired. Tired of always letting people slip through his fingers. Marinette. Nino. Mother. _Mother._

 **Flashback:** "Mommy, why do you have bruises?" a blond boy said, his small arms wrapped around his mother. "Did dad get mad at you?" He asked, fully aware of what was happening between his parents. The young women looked up, her tear stained cheeks glistened and she gave him a small smile.

"He didn't mean it." She whispered to the boy, she seemed to be trying to persuade herself more than her son. "He told me he didn't mean it."

The boy frowned at his mother, clearly disappointed in her for believing what his father had said.

"Daddy lies." He was now grasping his mother's shoulder, squeezing them, trying to make her believe him. Trying to knock some sense into her. "You said you would call for help if it happened again." He said sternly. "If you can't stop this than I will." He let go of his mother and walked towards the landline that was plugged into the wall.

"He said he loved me." Was all she said, staring blankly at the floor, the light that used to be in her eyes had left when the beatings had started. She was a beautiful broken doll. Only being held together by strings, that were ready to snap at any moment.

The boy gazed at his mother, sorrow filled his eyes and he could feel warm tears make their way down his cheeks.

He pressed the first digit.

9.

Then the second.

1.

He couldn't press the last one.

He collapsed on the ground, his eyes gradually swelling up from the salty tears that filled them. He was exhausted from this life. From the bruises on his mother's pale skin. From the scars that traced his mother's wrist. From the lies she had believed. They should've left before it had gotten this bad. They should've grabbed their suitcases and left.

 **End of flashback**

He was about to walk away from the table when he glimpsed bell blue eyes looking right at him through the window. He stopped dead in his track, his legs cemented to the floor.

He took in the sight before him, Marinette in a light blue dress and her raven hair down, draped on her shoulders. Her blue eyes were wide open, giving her a "deer caught in headlights" look. Her cheeks were flushed red and her rosebud lips were slightly opened in a "gasp" shape. He tore his feet from their spot on the ground and sprinted through the cafe. Dodging waiters, tables, and customers. He shoved the glass door open and twisted his body around the corner. He was about 6 meters away from her, which he covered in a matter of seconds.

He gave her a grin and reached his hand out, not sure whether his hands were shaking from excitement or the 5 espressos he had drank while waiting.

P.O.V Marinette

"You coming in?" He asked, letting a little bit of Chat Noir slip into his voice and smile. She was slightly taken back from his attitude but smiled nonetheless. Though she hadn't expected this side of him she wasn't against it.

 **Not the best place to end but I really just wanted to give you a chapter. I hope you likfed it. This story will be like 30 chapters in case you wanted to know. As always, love y'all!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Please don't kill me. Just read.**

 **P.O.V Marinette**

They had taken a seat at a little table in the corner near a huge window. She hadn't thought of bringing a jacket so she was grateful for the warm light that seeped through. The air of the conversation between them was light and warm like two old friends. Well, they were old friends so that was not much of a surprise. But with the issue they were yet to discuss she had been prepared for an awkwardly painful conversation.

But at the same time, this small conversation was even worse. It was like slowly inching towards peeling a bandaid off. She just wanted to rip it off as quickly as possible.

"So, what brought you to New York CIty?" She said carefully, as if he was a wild animal she didn't want to scare away. She brought her eyes up from the salad, that she had been prodding with a fork, and had to concentrate on not getting lost in his eyes. His hand started to tremble slightly, and she began to fear that she had struck a chord there. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want." She rushed out, scolding herself for being stupid. _There's a reason he was avoiding those questions, he doesn't want to! He's still sensitive!_

"No, no. It's time we talked about everything that has happened." Adrien said, running a hand through his golden locks, biting his lip in anxiousness. "Truthfully, I had heard that there were sightings of Ladybug here." He said, clearly uncomfortable.

"Oh. DId you come because-"

"Yeah, I came to confront her." He said, "I was angry. I guess I still am."

She was puzzled. He knows she's alive now so why would he still be angry at Ladybug?

"Why? Well, I know why you were angry before but I'm alive. So why?" She said softly, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"She's the reason I lost you for 5 years." He was now looking down at his hands, pink spreading throughout his cheeks. "She's the reason I lost a princess."

 **P.O.V Adrien:**

He hadn't meant to say "princess", it had just come out, like instinct. He felt more heat rush to his cheeks, and he wanted to die on spot. He had been so distracted by her eyes that he hadn't thought about what he was saying. What if she realizes he's Chat?

To his surprise, Marinette started giggling. Little snorts came out but she didn't seem to care. Once she gained control of her giggling she looked straight into his eyes, amusement still sparkling in them.

"You know, I can't believe I didn't realize what a dork you are." She covered her mouth, snuffling the giggles that kept escaping from her mouth. That simple action from her drove him crazy. It was amazing that he hadn't taken her back to his hotel already, not that she'd actually go with him. She was to sweet. To innocent. To good for him. He looked down at his untouched grilled chicken and tried to block all the doubts that were rushing in. _What if she just pitied him? What if she thought him coming to confront ladybug was hilariously pathetic? What if she and Ladybug had done all of this just to embarrass him?_ He quickly wiped the thoughts from his mind and looked back up at Marinette who seemed to have finished saying something.

"Uh, I didn't really hear what you said." He said, flustered, as he rubbed the back of his neck. She smiled as she shook her head.

"I asked, where are you staying?" She said smoothly, seemingly not fazed by him being oblivious. He smiled hesitantly wondering if he should tell her he was staying at a hotel. It was a very nice hotel though. 5 star hotel called "The Plaza". But he didn't think bringing up how well off he was would be a good idea.

"Uh, I'm staying at a hotel. I think it's called 'The Plaza'," He said cautiously deciphering her expressions as he told her. Her mouth had dropped open, eyes screaming deer in headlights.

"Are you sure it's 'The Plaza'?" She said leaning forward in her seat, elbows braced on the table. "Like, absolutely sure?" Adrien didn't like the attention when he had something expensive. The questions always made him uncomfortable but he didn't want to be rude to Marinette and not answer the question.

"Yeah." He murmured glancing down at his hands. This wasn't how he wanted their first date to go.

 **P.O.V Marinette:**

What was she expecting? He was Adrien. World famous model. He deserved to stay at one of the most prestigious hotels in all of New York City. But hearing him say it out loud hit her with the fact that they lived in two separate worlds. While he was staying in expensive 5 star hotels she was saving up money to go to the new expensive french restaurant that had opened up down the street from her.

But she could sense the unease and tension that was coming off him in waves. She had to do to steer the conversation away from living space.

"I have a friend!" She blurted out, snapping her hand over her mouth instantly. God, why the hell did she say that. It sounded like she was trying to convince him that she wasn't a loner. She wasn't of course but after she said that he probably would think she was. She had just officially ruined their date.

But when she brought her attention back to Adrien he was smiling softly. If she hadn't been on a date with him she would've let out a sigh of relief.

Right when things were turning in a comfortable direction her phone decided to ring. Buzzing and drilling into the table, and sending Marinette into a frenzy of panic. Should he answer? Or should she ignore? If she takes it he might think she's rude. But if she ignores it then she'll seem to desperate to continue the date. _Oh god._

She could feel her pulse quicken and her palms become clammy. She spared a glance at Adrien and gave him a questioning look, one eyebrow raised and the other slightly shaking with agitation. Adrien nodded to the phone and small smile gracing his features. His hair sitting like gold on his head, and green eyes glittering with the afternoon sun.

She slowly and hesitantly picked up her phone and studied the icon on the screen.

"Janette Skylar" read in big bold white letters underneath the shaking green phone symbol.

She grimaced and looked up at Adrien quickly.

"I'm so sorry, but I have to take this." She said, standing up from her chair, pushing it back abruptly. "This will only take a minute." She added, wishing that were true. Most of the times when Janette called her the conversations would last for an hour. Maybe more depending on how enthusiastic she was about the project. And the project they were working on now was one of their best. With a looming deadline, a tight schedule, small workforce, and strict CEO Janette was in a frenzy 24/7. And most likely she would be in one now.

"Janette what is it?"

"We have critical emergency over here! Our head competitor Ryndold's Fashion has changed it's theme to ours. We can't let them outshine us!"

"What! Are you kidding me? I'll be right there. Just give me a sec, okay?"

"Hurry!"

Click.

Marinette ran a hand through her hair, something she did when she was stressing. She couldn't not be there for her team but at the same time Adrien seriously deserved some answers. No, she could always meet up with Adrien another time. This was a serious emergency.

5 years of dreaming he would come back and fall in love with her and she's passing up that opportunity for Janette. God, she owed her big time.

She rushed back into the small cafe, not so carefully dodging customers and waiters. When she reached Adrien's table her heart suddenly weighed her down. Dreading to tell him she had to leave before they could really discuss anything important.

He started to stand up when he saw her making her way over to the table.

"You have to leave don't you." He said, disappointment clear in his voice.

"Yeah," She murmured, rubbing the back of her neck. "Fashion emergency."

"Oh, well I guess I'll call you." He said, seemingly itching to get out of the cafe.

She turned around and sprinted out, leaving behind Adrien and all the things she hoped would occur at that very table. Maybe next time, if there was a next time.

 **. . .**

"Are you done yet!" Janette snapped, clenching her jaw. Marinette was sketching new ideas for their new theme and was getting a little pissed by Janette's constant remarks and demands. She knew it was only because of all the stress placed on them but she was not helping.

"Almost." She let out between clenched teeth. She was splitting her energy between getting the designs out and keeping back any rude words from slipping from her mouth. She had known fashion was a stressful industry but that didn't mean she was used to it let alone like it. She had only felt this stress as Ladybug and this seemed to be worse for some reason. FIghting crime was a lot less stressful than designing if that made any sense. She scoffed to herself and winced, realizing Janette was still close by and would be able to hear her. She did not want another Janette rant right now.

Marinette scratched out her last design. It was a dress, the front in short ruffles and the back long ruffles. The top was red but faded into black as it neared the bottom of the dress. It was strapless and had a red rose with black polka dots on the side near the right shoulder (from the person's point of view).

Marinette watched Janette scrutinize over it and let out a small sigh.

"I guess this will do." She muttered, but as she turned away she could see a small smile on her fame. Janette was secretly please with Marinette's design. Marinette knew this. There was never a time where Janette was less than pleased with the ideas in her sketchbook. But Janette was to prideful to admit her liking for the dress.

She leaned back in her chair and let out a loud yawn, not caring to hide the fact that she was spent. She glanced down at her watch and almost fell off her chair when she read the time.

1:00 am flashed before her in big red daunting letters.

Yeah, it was definitely time to go home.

 **I keep forgetting that these 8 chapters are spread over two days. Literally only two days have passed. Like holy cow how is that possible. Well anyways, I'm extremely sorry that I haven't published in a while. I was just not that into it and I recently built up the motivation to finish this chapter. I had actually started this chapter the exact day I published chapter 7. Sorry! I hope no one stopped reading my story or following because of the long no publish gap. I had a break down during school today and started crying, so I decided to use the energy that was for crying to write. The next chapter might be a little depressing and triggering because that's what I'm going through right now. But it might not be depending on when I start writing again. Bye for now. Love y'all!**


	10. Chapter 9

**What has it been? Like 5 months? I'm so sorry. I just couldn't get past this chapter but I finally sat down and finished it. It was pretty easy after I waited awhile. I was having a bad day so I read through the comments and I just don't even understand why you guys are so nice to me. You're all really awesome. I can't even explain the joy I get from getting a comment. I just have a giggle fit and then I read the comment. Anyways, please enjoy. It's kind of short but it gives you a deep look into Sophia's and Marinette's friendship. I will update more often so please keep reading. No 5 month absences.**

Marinette trudged up the steps to her apartment, longing for the moment her head could lay on her soft lilac pillow. But as she opened her apartment door the scene in front of her made her immediately reconsider that. Pillows were strewn everywhere, furniture obviously rearranged, her cactus plant was now on the ground. Dirt, flower buds, and the actual cactus lingering with the shards of the jade pot. This was something that Marinette had seen only once before.

Flashback:

" _How could you not tell me!" Sophia screamed across the hallway, her fists balled up in rage, knuckles white with anger. Marinette was to angry herself to be even the slightest bit scared by her tantrum._

" _Oh stop being a brat!" She snapped back, her own feisty anger lacing in with her words. Her Ladybug peeked through when she got angry, and the person her anger was directed act would be treated the same way she treated Chat when he got angry._

" _I am trying to help you Marinette!" Sophia seethed through bared teeth, "And how do you expect me to do that when you can't even tell me what happened!" Marinette fixed Sophia with an annoyed glare._

" _I don't need your protection, let alone want it." Marinette didn't even try filtering her words, she just let them come out, "I am 18 and have 3 years of experience on my shoulders. So, you can stop acting like you're the strong one here." Marinette didn't even know the weight of those words, she just thought of them as a good retort against this crazed Sophia. But they took a larger effect. A larger toll on their friendship than Marinette could even imagine._

 _Sophia's anger withered away, as the words spoken sunk into her skin._

" _You're right." She whispered, her eyes shining with tears and her face morphing into a look of utter betrayal and helplessness. "I'm not the strong one here."_

 _And that was that. That was the end of the fight. But while Marinette had left with only a few scratches, Sophia left with a tear through her heart. And Sophia didn't know how to mend it, so she let it bleed out. Let it stain her body and her soul. Let it drip, drip, and drip, until she was empty. That was the end of the fight._

 _The apartment was quiet for a few days, no light laughter or playful shouting. Though it was sunny outside, the apartment was still full of gloom and despair. Neither apologizing and reconciling. But as they say time heals and soon, as if trickling back, the sounds came and the sun split through. Cracking and chipping the dark._

End of Flashback:

"Sophia?" Marinette called out softly as if Sophia was a wounded deer. "Honey?" She called out again, a little louder this time. Her silent creeping turned into a normal pace. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.

She stepped into the living room softly, scanning over the mess. But her eyes focused on a small shivering slump of an armchair, quivering and shaking. Marinette walked a little bit faster, impatient to get to Sophia. She practically ran the last distance between her and the form. She grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled them back, gasping as she took in the view in front of her.

"Sophia…" she whispered hesitantly. Sophia was curled into a ball, her eyes squinted shut and her mascara smudged across her eyelids. Tears had made a track through her makeup giving he face a shattered glass look. Her lips was smudged making her look the joker and her blond hair was a tangled mess. It was obvious that she had been pulling and tugging at it every which way. Her cheeks had broke out from the makeup staying on for too long and in all she looked like a total mess. She looked a lot like Marinette the first day she got to New York

"Mon amie." Marinette whispered gently as she kneeled next to the armchair. Sophia's eyes slowly opened. The glassy amber sending shivers up Marinette's spine. The white's on her eyes were now red and her water line looked like she had swapped out her black eyeliner with red.

"You're back." She whispered hoarsely, more as a statement than a question. Marinette's heart stopped at that moment. A terrible aching feeling nestling itself in her chest. Every muscle in her body throbbed. She had disappeared and never contacted Sophia to let her know that she was okay. Her friend had probably gone overboard with worry and broke. She couldn't believe that she had been so selfish to not think about her close friend.

"I'm so sorry." She murmured, trying but failing to hold back tears. Her body collapsed next to Sophia and she sobbed into her arm. "I'm so sorry." She cried. A hand was laid on her head and she peeked out of her little shell.

"I know." Sophia whispered and stroked her hair soothingly, exactly how Marinette's mother would do. Marinette was undoubtedly the more responsible person out other friendship but at some moments Sophia's motherly side would come out. It was probably because Sophia never had a mother of her own. She died of cancer when Sophia was only seven years old. Though Sophia still kept her own personality and didn't let the loss change her she had to calm her younger twin brothers. It was something that most people never saw let alone knew about. She had only ever shown that side of herself to her brothers and Marinette.

"I was so worried." Sophia said so softly that Marinette had barely been able to hear it. Marinette bit her lip as her eyes burned more painfully. She always hurt the people she loved. She always seemed to mess up at the first time possible.

"Let's get you to bed." She whispered as if afraid that Sophia would shatter in her hands. Marinette guided Sophia into an upright position. Sophia just sat their staring at Marinette. Here eye's so lost that Marinette could feel her broken heart shattering into tinier pieces.

"Let's stand up." She said a bit louder, trying to ease Sophia back into hearing louder volumes. This was New York City. The serenity of the apartment wouldn't be kept safe for long. Slowly and gently lifted Sophia up, wrapping her arm around her neck. They both made their way across the living room and down the hall towards the bedrooms.

"I can go on from here." Sophia said as they stood in front of her door, sounding like they were parting during an intense quest. But Marinette shook her head.

"You can't." She stated. "I know you. You'll just go in there and sit on your bed crying." Sophia lifter her head up in shock. But it was quickly gone as she remembered who Marinette was.

"Right as always." Sophia said as she let a small smile slip onto her face. Marinette was more than a little delighted by this change of events. She could see the Sophia's humor slowly trickling back into her.

Marinette opened the door, wide enough for both of them to easily slip in. After she sat Sophia on her bed she made a beeline towards the bathroom in the room. She grabbed some makeup remover, 3 quarters empty, and a wipe. She flicked the dim light in the bathroom off and sat next to Sophia on the bed. It was a foam mattress, so she slowly sank in. She wet the wipe with the makeup remover and then went on to wiping the makeup off of Sophia's tear stained face. It was easy, since most of her makeup was faded and smudged and her massacra was all underneath her eyes in streaks. She had worn no lipstick so other than the eye makeup there was only a light layer of foundation. As she pulled away the wipe she looked down at it, seeing the familiar colors that were mostly always on Sophia's face.

"Adrien was at the party yesterday." She whispered softly, having to suppress a smile when she thought about him. Sophie smiled softly as she stared at her hands.

"That party isn't meant for hot boys." Sophia said. "What was he doing there anyways?"

Marinette bit back a grin, Sophia joking around again was the biggest relief.

"Hmm, I thought you thought Adam was hot." Marinette watched as Sophia's cheeks turned pink. "I didn't think to ask." She then said, responding to the question that was asked. They both giggled and there smiles radiated, lighting up the dark room.

"Have I ever told you the time I texted Adam to confess my feelings but I accidently texted my dad." Sophia giggled as she pressed her hands against her head. Marinette was absolutely shocked. She had thought they had shared everything. When had this happened?

"No." Marinette muttered, feeling the embarrassment in her own self. It was like when you watched movies and you have to watch them do something really embarrassing and awkward. You just can't bear looking at it.

"It's true!" Sophia exclaimed, "I also talked about my 'weird' dreams about him in the text." _No way._ "I still can't look at my dad."

"Well, have I ever told you about the time I went on a date with Nino."

"But I thought you liked Adrien."

"I thought he was going to!"

"Aww bad luck Marinette."

"I even had an earpiece on and had Alya talking me through it all."

"God, you really were so awkward."

"Hey!"

"Don't deny it."

"Just cause it's true doesn't mean you get to say it."

They both laughed together in the dark.

"You know I love you."

"I know."

"Well…"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to say it back?"

"Ya know, I'm not sure i really love you."

Sophia punched Marinette in the arm.

"Fine."

"..."

"I love you too."

 **I love this chapter so much. I won't see a lot of my close friends anymore and it really hurts me so this chapter is to commemorate our friendships.**

 **So thank you Sophie for being my first real friend. Be kind girly. Love you! 3**


	11. Chapter 10

**Read the authors note at the end of the chapter. I wil explain the whole reason about my absence there.**

"I swear the publishing department can't do anything to save their lives," Janette was pacing, her shrieking filling the room. "I asked for them to spread the news on the change of our inspiration." Janette continued, stopping in front of Marinette.

"And…" Marinette asked.

"Nothing! Nothing Mary!." Janette nearly screamed this. "One post in the corner of our website is not spreading the news."

"Okay, the publishing department sucks. But why did you call me down?" Marinette asked, getting more confused as this conversation continued.

"I need you to give some interviews to magazine, papers, anything," Janette seemed to have calmed down a bit after settling into the main point of this conversation. But Marinette was getting the opposite effect.

"I-Interviews?" She responded shakily, playing with her fingers and wishing to sink into the chair she was in. Janette was not having any of this behavior. Her frown deepened.

"Mary, I'm not asking, I'm ordering," Marinette could almost see her digging her heels into the ground. There was no way out of this. "You may be our best designer Mary, but if you want to stay one for this company then you must do this. We have many other people who could take your desk."

Marinette swallowed at this statement. Losing her job was not something she would be able to handle on top of all the weird twisted drama that was going to happen with Adrien and Ladybug.

"Of course," she managed to whisper, "I'll get right on it."

Marinette walked out of that Janette's office with a ball of anxiety and fear coiling and growing. The whole reason she had become a designer was because she could sharehere designs and affect the fashion world and not have to leave the comfort of her desk. But maybe she was mistaken. Maybe being a designer was so much more than that. And that's what Marinette was scared of. That something that was such a huge part of her and who she had become might not be right for her. Rather, she might not be right for it.

She rushed back to her desk, grabbing her scarf and jacket, and stepped out the glass double doors into the cold air.

Her hand reached into her purse and took out her phone.

"Hey, it's me."

"_"

"Yeah."

"_"

"I know I have no right to ask you for a favor. But can I?"

"_"

"Could you get me a meeting with some papers or magazines that post frequently?"

"_"

"Thank you. And sorry."

"_"

 **P.O.V Adrien:**

I bent my head upward and watched as Ladybug leaped across the city. She looked much different than from when I last saw her when we were 15.

She had ditched pigtails. Was it pathetic that that was the first thing I noticed? Cause I felt pathetic in that moment. Watching the person I wasted 6 years thinking about with pigtails. And here she was, her hair wild and free from any constraints. The gentle waves framing her face and her mask. Her cheekbones had become more defined. Her face more heart shaped. Her lips plumper. And pinker. And probably softer. And- _NOT THE POINT ADRIEN!._

I scolded myself and continued down the street. She didn't kill Marinette though. My mind began to wander, thoughts I normally kept down yanking themselves free. So, how could it be wrong to show some interest again?

 _Because you're "with" Marinette!_

No, I just caught up with her for lunch. It's nothing.

 _Oh and making out in the rain is just something else friends do, right?_

We were both cuaght up in the moment.

 _Oh yeah. And how would you know what she thinks?_

It's worse to lead her on if I'm thinking about someone else. She would want me to be happy!

 _NOT WITH THE PERSON WHO RUINED HER LIFE! NOT WITH HER!_

I stuffed by earbuds in and blasted music. I didn't care what was playing I just had to stop thinking. I just had to stop.

I pulled up by black hood and stuffed my hands into my pockets. I was so fucking tired of having to think. Of having to be in charge. Of having to sort out all of the problems. And that's when I felt the shift. The buildings became taller. The shadows darker. Familiar faces showed up on strangers. An[d just like what happened to Paris, New York City became haunted. But I couldn't run again. Cause this time I had no excuse too. So I continued to walk down the street in the newly haunted city, where I was trapped. Where I was once again begging for relief. Begging for someone to break me out. Where once again I had more bridges pop up right after I had bruned my old ones. The real question was if I would burn these. If actually is not really the questions. But could. Could I. Would I be able too. Could I take by black claws to this city and destroy it.

I caught myself thinking again and tunred up the volume.

 **Haha ha...ha….. It's been like what... 7… 8 months? Sorry. I love my story and what I've built so far but I started butchering the characters and my plot in the last few chapters I posted. If you reread them you can see that. You can see how absolutely terrible I was doing. I was not able to connect with characters or see them as real people. I always saw adrien as perfect boy and totally forgot that he's chat. And when I was writing Adriens P.O.V you can pin point exactly when I started understanding the character of adrien/chat. "I stuffed by earbuds in and blasted music. I didn't care what was playing I just had to stop thinking. I just had to stop." is the exact point when I truly created how I wanted Adrien to be in my story. Updates will not be every 7 months. Or 5 months. Not even month. It will be frequent. Quanitity will go down but quality will go up far more. And to the person who commented about how it's not been a 5 month absence but a 6 month absence, you're actually the reason I started thinking about this story again. Oh and who do you think Marinette was talking to on the phone. I know. Cause for the first time in this story I actually know what the next chapter will have in it. Unlike me and the other chapters where I was fucking winging it. Thanks and sorry.**


	12. Chapter 11

**It's easier for you readers to understand when I write in first person. So I'm switching over to using first person. Sorry for the wait. I was very busy with school. Enjoy.**

I found myself on cement ground, surrounded by darkness. I groaned as a stinging pain shot through my back.

 _Not good._ I thought to myself. I blinked, but instead of empty space being in front of me like it had been a second ago, there was Ladybug. Towering over me, a sneer painted on her face. An expression I had never thought I could make.

Ladybug's foot stomped down on my shoulder, a crack sounded throughout the emptiness that I was trapped in. I cried out in pain and tried to grasp my now broken shoulder, but found that I couldn't move my arm. I couldn't move anything. I was paralyzed beneath the wrath of Ladybug.

"Stop." I gasped, my throat feeling painfully raw, as if I had been screaming for hours without stop.

The Ladybug above me let out a cold dark laugh and her mouth broke out into a sickening grin.

"Stop?" She laughed that word but then her face turned to icy stone. "After you abandoned me!" She slowly pressed her heel down onto my fingers, reveling in the snap that came from my pinky.

"Abandoned?" I whimpered, my confusion only masking my face for a split second before it turned back into agonizing pain as she applied more force on my left hand.

"You don't remember!" She screamed out and stomped on my hand. I may have been paralyzed but that didn't stop the pain from making me scream out. I let out a sob.

"How can you not remember destroying my life!" She screamed out again. "Destroying everything I had!" I couldn't think.

"You destroyed every chance I had at a life!" What about my life? I had a family and friends and a boy. I had everything! How could she act like she was the victim. I was the victim! Me! Marinette!

"You destroyed everything for me!"

"I am you!" My voice echoed, hitting the "walls" of the emptiness.

The walls shattered, spraying down on my vulnerable body.

I squeezed by eyes shut, awaiting the pain of the shards piercing my body. But nothing happened.

But something did drip on my face. I reached out with my right hand, the paralyzation seeming to disappear once the walls had been destroyed. I stared at the slick blood that coated my fingers.

 _No._

My eyes shot upwards at where Ladybug had last been. And still was. But this time she was positioned so that she hovered over every part of my body. Her toned muscles only disturbed by the shards of black that pierced through every part of her. She had shielded me.

Another sob racked through my body.

 _No._

"I'm sorry for what I did to you." That was the only thing I could think of saying to her.

"What you did to yourself, you mean." She coughed up blood that sprayed down on the white dress that I adorned. "Like you said, I am you." And with that she fell upward into oblivion and I fell down.

I woke up in cold sweat on my white bed, moon shining down on my face making me squint. I wiped the moisture from my brow and looked up at my skylight in the ceiling. Tikki stirred from her fetal position next to my pillow.

"Sorry to wake you Tikki." I murmured quietly since the walls of my apartment were very thin.

"I'm an immortal magical fairy, Marinette." Tikki squeaked as she looked at me, amusement painted on her face. "I think I'll be fine."

I let out a weak chuckle and closed my eyes, trying to calm my heart that still hadn't stopped racing.

"Was it the nightmares again?" Tikki asked worriedly. I sighed for what seemed like the 5th time.

"I thought they had disappeared." I said, dread filling my chest. It had been 4 years since I had nightmares. I got them when I first came to New York City. And after an agonizing year with them they finally disappeared and had never resurfaced. Until now I guess.

"There has to be a reason they came back." Tikki said, prodding me for answers about what was going on with my life. "Like for example the return of Adrien."

"I'll be fine Tikki." I said, masking the panic that was still resting in my throat.

Tikki fell back to sleep shortly, but I did not. I sat on my bed and looked out the window. I memorized how the cars looked passing on the street below like I had done a thousand times. I watched the familiar reds and yellows. Paris had never looked like this. The black pavement had been old cobblestone. And the buildings had been smaller and more beautiful. Each curve and arch perfectly placed and designed.

I brought my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on top of them. My dark hair fell past my shoulders. I traced the scars that lined my arms and legs. I stopped once I reached the white disfigurement that covered the lower half of my stomach.

 _ **Flashback**_

" _Agh!" I cried out as I fell onto my balcony. Tikki detransformed, not able to keep up the transformation for any longer. She fell from the air and landed on the wood flooring with a loud thud. I sat up, surrounded by spilled dirt and broken fragments from the clay pots that housed my flowers._

 _I removed my arm from my abdomen to see red dark stains growing on my white floral shirt._

 _A wave of exhaustion hit me and I fell backwards, passing out. But not before seeing a flash of orange._

 _ **End of Flashback**_

I didn't sleep that night. Instead choosing to watch the city that raced by me. Cars lights flashing through my window, lighting up my room, leaving a melancholy feeling hanging in my chest.

…

"You better have hundreds of interviews and press releases setup." Janette scowled as she saw me entering her office. "Or there would be no point of you coming into work." The threat hung heavy in the air between us. But I didn't let it bother me too much. I wasn't entering the room empty handed.

"Interviews, press releases, and tons of celebs gossiping on twitter about the theme change." I plopped down in the chair opposite her.

Janette perked up in her seat.

"Honestly Marinette I had believed I had given you an impossible task." She admitted as she typed away at her computer, checking multiple social media sites to see if there truly was buzz. "How did you do it?"

I choked on my own spit as I spluttered.

 _Words Marinette, use your words, not your guttural noises._

" I, uh, know a model so I asked him to hook me up." I finally said. I prayed that she wouldn't ask anymore questions. I wasn't ready for the office gossip about what was between me and Adrien. And if anyone knew about me and Adrien there would be dozens of tabloids and then dozens of questions about why the so called dead Marinette was still alive.

"Oh, I see." Janette muttered disinterested. "I was hoping _you_ were the one who had the direct connections. But this model will do."

I could feel my shoulders fall down as I let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to just put the finishing touches on the designs." I said as I got up from my seat. "When will the models be available for the fitting?"

Janette looked up from her computer, seemingly satisfied with the publicity I had gotten for us.

"Tomorrow." Janette took a sip of her coffee and leaned back in her chair. "I would like you to be present for the fitting."

I stopped by the door. I had never been at the fittings. I just designed and made the prototypes. But I never fitted the models for the runway. And I rarely even went to the runways.

"This is a little unexpected Janette." I admitted. "May I ask why?"

Janette stood up from her chair and walked over to me, her 6 inch heels clicking on the marble floor with her every step.

"There's a lot riding on this new theme and these new designs." Janette reach for the door handle and twisted it. "I need the original creator to be there to make sure everything is perfect. And that includes the runway show." She opened the door and the noise from the bustle outside her office became our new background noise.

"Of course, Janette." I said. "I'll be there."

A smirk slipped onto her tight face that was being lifted by her even tighter bun.

"Don't be late."


End file.
